(The dashing Mr. John Amaechi)
John Amachi has written a letter to SGL people the world over for National Coming Out Day. As always, he speaks with wisdom and eloquence. To read the letter, visit Mr. Amaechi's blog or read it below in its entirety:
Happy Coming Out Day everyone. It would seem that this year, more than others, the pressures on young LGBT people have been more severe than normal.
Being out is the best thing you can be - just being your own authentic self is personally liberating and allows you to have meaningful relationships - romantic and otherwise - with people who know the real you.
However, and this usually gets me a lot of flack, but I believe you should know that in this climate, there is poison all around. People and institutions who would marginalise and abuse you for being who you are and as such, I would encourage you to come out judiciously. Know that coming out doesn't mean the whole world needs to be told at once - or ever - some people will never earn the right to know the whole you.
If you do have someone with whom you can connect, someone likely to embrace you, protect you, share your moments of doubt and be your fierce advocate then that is the kind of person to whom you should come out.
If you are one of the many surrounded by those who love you only conditionally; who "...love you if...." If you are the person they want you to be, then you must think not just of your personal liberation today on National Coming Out Day - but also your enduring personal safety - psychologically, emotionally and yes, even financially.
If you are beholden to parents or guardians who would withhold your college tuition if you come out, as one young man emailed me this week or perhaps you are isolated in a tiny town in a school where teachers openly deride and mock LGBT people as another young person told me this week, then it may not be safe for you to come out just yet.
Being who you are is so important for your wellbeing, but being safe and ensuring you have a long-term future is more important. I am not looking for you to find lame excuses to stay in the closet, because 'Uncle Pete' might not take you to the ball game anymore... but if the past months have told us anything it is that some of you face much tougher circumstances than that - and facing them without the support of someone near you is a lonely, and dangerous circumstance.
If you are unable to identify at least one person who will stand by you, then think before you burst out of the closet to the world. If coming out now, even with all the intrapersonal benefits might mean you end up being thrown out of your house the second the law allows it, or your family will withhold the college education your siblings are allowed and you have earned (and we all know the toll that not having an education can take on your future) then maybe you need to think about your strategy and know that coming out doesn't mean you have to change the status on your Facebook page to "great big gay" but might mean finding a handful or even just one person with whom you can share the real you.
To some of those who have written to me let me say this: It is not your responsibility to start the revolution in Redfield - the LGBT community, such as it is, is ready and waiting for you and doesn't need your personal sacrifice now. Keep that roof over your head until you can provide one for yourself either through college or when you are old enough to get a job.
For the young woman "near San Antonio" with so many people holding your future in their hands, be careful... from your considered words, I can only imagine how powerful you might be in the future, and for the sake of one more year of discomfort, I don't want to miss out on that remarkable future you.
On this National Coming Out Day, I support all of you in whatever decisions you may make today or beyond. Reach out and find at least one person with whom you can make a connection. If you do that then you are playing your part in progress. As much as the young person who fights their school district or emancipates themselves from their parents to be who they are, you honour and strengthen the LGBT community with every person you reach and as much as I can speak for the LGBT community - I will say that we will be waiting for you when you are ready.
If you don't have anyone to talk to, there are numerous organisations out there like The Trevor Project, PFLAG and others who can put you in touch with the right people to talk to... and if you are still stuck, you can leave a message on my facebook page (there's an email on there too) and I think you will find the people there - not to mention me - will be glad to lend their ear.
Follow Mr. Amaechi on Facebook and Twitter.