Become Yourself

Actor Rockmond Dunbar

Private Practice, a spin-off from the popular television show Grey's Anatomy (both of which are executive produced by Shonda Rhimes) recently featured an episode guest-starring Rockmond Dunbar.  In it, Dunbar plays a closeted man who makes the long, hard decision to come out to his wife.

It's no surprise that the predominant narrative in much of the mainstream media regarding homosexuality (especially black homosexuality)  is the so-called down low man.  It's no coincidence that this is happening at precisely the same time that the SGL community is seeking its civil rights. And for students of history, the motive is not difficult to discern: It's an attempt to distract Les Misérable from the true source of their woe (the wealthy elite and greedy corporations) by giving them a target upon which to heap their fears, frustrations, and violence. An effective strategy to be sure.

History has shown us that there's always someone for whom the conflict between two (usually degraded) groups is advantageous.  The culprit is revealed by asking one simple question: Who benefits?

But I digress. 

Watch the compiled clip below as Rockmond's character is revealed to have infected his white twink hustler boyfriend with HIV (his boyfriend is a hustler and smart enough to use a condom, but Rockmond's character is not).  This allows the show's white cast of characters to save Rockmond's unsuspecting wife from infection, then teach Rockmond how to be a man.

The American panic narrative remains unchanged.  It's vital that as a SGL individual, you define yourself--that you become yourself.

Evidence of Things Not Seen V

The ever-stylish and secure Kanye West

It was inevitable.

The nude photos of Kanye West have leaked:

And here I was hoping for a shot of his booty.

C'est la vie.

Shout out to Bernie!

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings II

Provocateur: Imani the Misfit
Imani the Misfit is hardcore.

A snippet of his soon-to-be-released single, "Radio," is available on YouTube and it has to be heard to be believed.

In this inherently political, sexually explicit, dirty-south-tinged song, Imani rides the beat like a professional, all while coaching another brother on how to perform a proper "professional"—on a man.  The kicker is that Imani sounds remarkably like rapper 50 Cent on this track, making for nice bit of irony given 50's homophobic stance. Always pushing the boundaries of sexuality and masculinity, Imani is currently hip hop's most provocative force. 

Listen to the exclusive snippet of "Radio":

Written and produced by Imani himself, "Radio" will be available soon on Amazon and  iTunes.

Follow Imani the Misfit on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and XTube.


Shocking exposè: All Boys
Sadly, it comes down to this: In human relationships, you're either a pimp or a hosometimes figuratively, sometimes literally. 

Brent Hartinger of After Elton recently posted a review of the new documentary, All Boys, which casts light on the shady, unethical dealings of the gay porn industry in Prague.  Hartinger discusses some of the disturbing instances of abuse and exploitation that the film reveals—revelations that would force any porn consumer of conscience to re-evaluate their viewing habits.  Though I imagine that, for some, knowledge of this impossible suffering would only serve to intensify the titillation.


We all know these movies are a fantasy, but I was surprised just how much of a complete lie it really is.

The men, almost all of whom are straight and using Viagra or penile injections, are clearly taken advantage of: forced to sign draconian contracts and required to perform without condoms (the producer of the country's first bareback film almost boasts about it on film — although all the other companies in the city quickly followed suit).

And no matter how popular or successful they are, the young men are quickly chewed up and spit out — no longer needed in an industry that constantly requires fresh faces, and always has another flock of desperate 18-20 year-olds anyway.

The alumni? Many, intoxicated by making relatively good money for such quick work, turn to drugs and prostitution, only to be washed up, tragic figures before they hit their mid-twenties (many also probably end up HIV-positive, although the movie doesn't go into this).

All Boys is sometimes a little muddled (especially the opening), and it meanders somewhat. But it asks a provocative question: just how much of a blind eye is the gay male community willing to turn in order to get off?
Someone should do a documentary of this sort on Phil Bleicher of Flavaworks and the African American/Blatino/Latino gay porn industry to see what depravity might be uncovered.

Read Hartinger's article in its entirety at After Elton.

Get Over Yourself!

So, I like Xtube a whole lot. There are some HELLA hot guys on there, and the vids and pics keep me cumming like a geyser. You should know that a pet peeve of mine is when people are straight up CONCEITED for no good goshdarn reason. On many guys's Xtube profiles, they say stuff like "I am your fantasy" "Don't nobody got nothin on my Phat Ass" "Tell your dude to give up, I'm the best you ever had" "A few pics of my sex ass" "Pics of my sexy body". Along with the plethora of double-negatives, these are ALL actual titles from pics/vids I've seen on Xtube. And it's like DAYUMN, REALLY???

#1. You're not all that damn cute, so stop taking pics in the mirror biting your bottom lip.
#2. Why are there 503039 pics of you in ONE album of your body?
#3. FACE PICS and nothing else? GET OVER YOURSELF!!
#4. OMG, if you're gonna take pics in the bathroom, clean it up first!
#5. We get it, you're hot. And you want us to melt in the presence of your hotness. Dually noted.
#6. You're like, 25 years old and still refer to yourself as HottyWithBody2345 or iGottaPhatty...

I could go on and on...

What kills me the most is when the UGLIEST ugmos in the history of Ugly think their the finest, God's gift to mankind... I'm rambling... But really though, it's nothing wrong with being confident in yourself, in fact, I encourage a good sense of self-esteem. But don't take it overboard and think that you're the prettiest thing to ever walk the earth.

I mean, as long as Idris Elba exists, you're a 7/10 in my book. Lol, I'm sorry, he stole my HEART in Daddy's Girl. I have this weird lil fantasy where (you know the scene where Gabrielle Union's LUCKY ASS got to make out w/ him and he was about to TEAR THE LINING out of her, and she went to the bathroom and vomited like an idiot?)  Well, in my fantasy, he OWNS me. Damn, picture Animal Planet After Dark... ;) I'm a freak, sue me...

Enjoy the pics!

A Love Bizarre

(Fear of fading into the background: Raz-B)

I think Raz-B needs a psychiatric evaluation.

That’s not to say that I believe the allegations of child molestation he has levied against his former manager and mentor Chris Stokes and R&B singer Marques Houston are false. Quite the contrary, I think his claims are very credible.  Rumors of Stokes's behavior have been swirling since the days of Immature and they have been corroborated by another Stokes protégée, Quindon Tarver.

I’m no psychologist, but after watching, listening to, and reading the interviews with this young man, his demeanor—the erratic behavior, angry tone, hyperactive speech pattern, vulgarity, casual bigotry, religious zealotry, and unkempt appearance—seems, if not indicative of a severe emotional disorder, at least cause for serious concern.

It may be his religious zealotry that is doing him the most harm, though. In his interview with Vibe magazine, he said that he won’t seek psychological counseling and has opted, instead, to rely on Jesus Christ. Quite a few members of the black community hold similar positions, believing that counseling is a waste of time—“real men and women” either deal with their mental and emotional problems on their own or rely on religion to get them through. I know the song claims that he’s a wonderful counselor, but Jesus predates psychiatry by a few thousand years; I think it’s safe to say that he’s not an expert in the field. Which may explain why Raz-B is also relying on the power of another god: the media.

I’m just an observer, but I think that his exploitation of this subject matter speaks to a larger issue at play in America: the idea that everythingeven our darkest, most private and terrible sufferingis an opportunity for profit. Couple that with the addictive nature of fame (and the depths to which one will go to attain or maintain it) and what you have in Raz-B is a prime example of what happens when the human being—both to himself and to the people around him—becomes secondary to material wealth.

The media, which is in the business of distracting rather than informing, couldn’t be more pleased by Raz-B’s mania. Instead of using this as an opportunity to educate, every single outlet reporting the story has sensationalized it. So, it comes as no shock that they have not correctedbut have, in some cases, provokedRaz-B’s conflation of pedophilia and homosexuality (for the record, the two aren’t even remotely the same thing). It isn’t surprising that they haven’t challenged Raz on his use of the word “faggots” to describe his abusers (thereby revealing their own homophobia). Rather, they have focused on the most heinous details. Without feeling the least bit of shame, they’ve asked him about the specific sexual acts forced on him by his abusers and were delighted by his responses. No one is being helped in this situation and everyone is being demeaned—some willingly. It's all very bizarre.

Perhaps E. Raymond Brown was correct in his assertion that every single human relationship is based on exploitation: You’re either a pimp or a ho. The only flexibility you have is in deciding which of the two you’re going to be.

The Flavor of Man

 (Top: Raz-B; bottom: Quindon Tarver)

Perhaps  Raz-B's story is a bit more credible now that it's being corroborated by another party.

It seems clear to me (from the numerous video testimonies he's released in the past month) that he's dealing with some serious baggage stemming from the sexual abuse he alleges to have suffered at the hands of Chris Stokes and Marques Houston, among others.  Listen to him, and 90s R&B singer, Quindon (who also alleges abuse by Stokes and Houston), discuss, in graphic detail, what they suffered.  I sincerely hope they get the psychological and emotional support they need.

n a recent radio interview, Raz-B uses hate speech and graphic details to discuss the sexual abuse he suffered at the hands of Stokes and Houston:

The Amen Corner IV

 ("I'm gay": Bishop Jim Swilley)

As my friend Darian said: This is something you'd never see someone like Bishop Eddie Long do.

And you wouldn't see Bishop Long do this because he's selfish and more interested in his congregation's money and his flyboy status than he is in the truth.

Watch Bishop Jim Swilley--of the Church in the Now in Conyers, Georgia--come out to his congregation:

Good for him!

But I still think religion is an institution that terrorizes SGL individuals.


(President Barack Obama)

I have issues with the "It Gets Better" campaign, some of which are articulated here (ignore #1, though; it's a bunch of bullshit, and the webmasters deleted my comment challenging them on it), but when the leader of the free world participates, it becomes something remarkable. 

My only wish is that Obama will stand behind his true ideals and be an advocate for the millions of SGL citizens in this country whose rights and lives are being trampled upon by their heterosexist, homoantagonistic and homophobic neighbors. 

My 100th post! (+SELF PICS, FINALLY!)

I want to thank all of my followers for making this blog as successful and popular as it has grown to be. I know I say it a lot, but it truly, genuinely means something to me that you decided to put up with my freaky azz! The fact that many of you support (without necessarily even subscribing to) my sexual tastes is greatly appreciated and does not go unnoticed. Many of you have helped with relationship advice, sexual tips and tricks, uber-amount of emailed pics, links, porn sites, etc.


One of the most requested things among you all is for me to do a post of ME! Believe it or not, I'm a pretty shy guy. Me sharing my body with the rest of the world has been a fantasy of mine; I have this teensy little secret goal where I want to do some professional porn before age 25. Well, because I love yall so much, here's a treat for yall! THESE 5 PICS ARE OF ME!!! I EDGED FOR ABOUT AN HOUR OR SO AND NUT WAS ERRWHERRE! Now keep in mind that I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive about my shit! ;) Let me know what ya'll think!!!


Go Tell It on the Mountain IX

(Fuck your feelings: Dan Savage)

Sometimes, I think Dan Savage is an idiot.  Sometimes, I think he's a genius.

In this case, I think he's a genius.  Why?  Because he said precisely what many of us want to say to people who disguise intolerance with pious rhetoric. Peep his response to a reader from his column in the Village Voice:

Gay Kids Are Dying, Fuck Your Feelings

Reader: I was listening to the radio yesterday morning, and I heard an interview with you about your "It Gets Better" campaign. I was saddened and frustrated with your comments regarding people of faith and their perpetuation of bullying. As someone who loves the Lord and does not support gay marriage, I can honestly say I was heartbroken to hear about the young man who took his own life.

If your message is that we should not judge people based on their sexual preference, how do you justify judging entire groups of people for any other reason (including their faith)? There is no part of me that took any pleasure in what happened to that young man, and I know for a fact that is true of many other people who disagree with your viewpoint.

To that end, to imply that I would somehow encourage my children to mock, hurt, or intimidate another person for any reason is completely unfounded and offensive. Being a follower of Christ is, above all things, a recognition that we are all imperfect, fallible, and in desperate need of a savior. We cannot believe that we are better or more worthy than other people.

Please consider your viewpoint, and please be more careful with your words in the future.


Dan Savage: I'm sorry your feelings were hurt by my comments.

No, wait. I'm not. Gay kids are dying. So let's try to keep things in perspective: Fuck your feelings.

A question: Do you "support" atheist marriage? Interfaith marriage? Divorce and remarriage? All are legal, all go against Christian and/or traditional ideas about marriage, and yet there's no "Christian" movement to deny marriage rights to atheists or people marrying outside their respective faiths or people divorcing and remarrying.

Why the hell not?

Sorry, L.R., but so long as you support the denial of marriage rights to same-sex couples, it's clear that you do believe that some people—straight people—are "better or more worthy" than others.

And—sorry—but you are partly responsible for the bullying and physical violence being visited on vulnerable LGBT children. The kids of people who see gay people as sinful or damaged or disordered and unworthy of full civil equality—even if those people strive to express their bigotry in the politest possible way (at least when they happen to be addressing a gay person)—learn to see gay people as sinful, damaged, disordered, and unworthy. And while there may not be any gay adults or couples where you live, or at your church, or in your workplace, I promise you that there are gay and lesbian children in your schools. And while you can only attack gays and lesbians at the ballot box, nice and impersonally, your children have the option of attacking actual gays and lesbians, in person, in real time.

Real gay and lesbian children. Not political abstractions, not "sinners." Gay and lesbian children.

Try to keep up: The dehumanizing bigotries that fall from the lips of "faithful Christians," and the lies about us that vomit out from the pulpits of churches that "faithful Christians" drag their kids to on Sundays, give your children license to verbally abuse, humiliate, and condemn the gay children they encounter at school. And many of your children—having listened to Mom and Dad talk about how gay marriage is a threat to family and how gay sex makes their magic sky friend Jesus cry—feel justified in physically abusing the LGBT children they encounter in their schools. You don't have to explicitly "encourage [your] children to mock, hurt, or intimidate" queer kids. Your encouragement—along with your hatred and fear—is implicit. It's here, it's clear, and we're seeing the fruits of it: dead children.

Oh, and those same dehumanizing bigotries that fill your straight children with hate? They fill your gay children with suicidal despair. And you have the nerve to ask me to be more careful with my words?

Did that hurt to hear? Good. But it couldn't have hurt nearly as much as what was said and done to Asher Brown and Justin Aaberg and Billy Lucas and Cody Barker and Seth Walsh—day-in, day-out for years—at schools filled with bigoted little monsters created not in the image of a loving God, but in the image of the hateful and false "followers of Christ" they call Mom and Dad.

He left out the names of the black SGL teens who committed suicide (as much as Dan despises homophobia, he adores white privilege--I wouldn't be surprised if he was completely unaware of the black teens), but his overall message was not lost on me. 

And he delivered it with all the indignation and verve and vulgarity that I would've had the same letter been sent to me.

Nobody Knows My Name

(Gone too soon: Raymond Chase)

Everybody's journey is individual.  If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy.  The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality.

- James Baldwin

I'm just going to come right out and say it:

I blame the poisonous cocktail of patriarchal masculinity and religion for the deaths of these young men.

When you live in a society where children are routinely terrorized for not conforming to strict gender norms and where the mantra is, to varying degrees, "God Hates Fags," it should come as no shock that these children seek a permanent escape. 

This has been a dreadful time.  Too many young, gifted and talented individuals have chosen to leave behind the vicious homophobia and patriarchal cruelty they were forced to endure by ending their lives.  It is imperative that we speak their names (click on their names to read their tragic stories):


Who knows what heights these young people could have attained had they simply been permitted to be who they were.

Wherever they are, may they find the peace, love and acceptance they could not find here on Earth.

Hypocrites Always Want to Play Innocent XXX

I think the triple X's are appropriate given the subject matter.

I recently read a fascinating article in the Atlanta Post that tries to explain the psychology of why religion seems to draw hypocrites and why religious people themselves are so hypocritical. Inspired by the Bishop Eddie Long scandal, among others, the Post spoke to Dr. Richard N. Pitt, associate professor of Sociology at Vanderbilt University and an expert on the sociology of religion.

The Atlanta Post: As we all know, if the charges against Bishop Long are accurate, then that would officially make him a hypocrite. What is it about organized religion that attracts people who are trying to hide a part of themselves in private and ridicule that part in public?

Richard Pitt: There are doctors who smoke, judges who drive over the speed limit, liberal politicians who don’t pay their taxes, and preachers who lie. Every institution has people who find it difficult to live up to the ideals they profess. Organized religion attracts people for the same reasons any social association might: to build social relationships, to gain leadership opportunities, etc. What prompts the cries of “hypocrisy” when it comes to religion is the church’s role [or] responsibility to teach us the society’s moral values.

Those moral values don’t originate behind pulpits; they’re demanded by the society who sits in the pews. W.E.B. DuBois once wrote that “The Black congregation doesn’t follow the moral precepts of the preachers, but rather the preach follows the standard of his flock, and only exceptional men dare seek to change this.” Religious leaders always have three options when it comes to the topic of homosexuality: support, scorn, or silence.

While Long couldn’t be expected to celebrate the gay/lesbian members of his church community, why didn’t he choose silence rather than scorn? Because his constituents, which includes congregants and, apparently, politicians as well, demanded he weigh in. Long’s own alleged hypocrisy aside, he was not leading marches and calling gays and lesbians “spiritual abortions” in a vacuum. He was as likely to get the same cheers by charging others of homosexual behavior as he got standing on Sunday defending himself from such charges. The HOMOANTAGONISM --not sure its “homophobia,” really--he exhibits is as much a reflection of what his congregation demands of him as any belief he truly holds.

TAP: It appears that homosexuality and “metrosexuality” in the African-American community is tolerated to an extent. I say that based on the amount of acceptance there is for the obvious-yet-closeted African-American superstars. Why is there such a specific intolerance from some in the African-American community and church community for choosing to live as an openly gay person?

RP: The Black Church probably isn’t very different in that regard. What we’re dealing with is the “problem” of abstract homosexuality. Until forced to confront the reality of someone’s sexual behavior and not just suspicions about that behavior or even the reality of an “orientation/preference,” many people—Black and White alike—simply choose not to see what might be blatantly obvious. Actual homosexuals are invisible in black churches, replaced, in other people’s minds, by “effeminate” men and “butch” women. While congregants might consider male effeminacy objectionable, it isn’t a sin. On what grounds, for example, might a man who wears tight muscle shirts and has a coterie of young men following him be “sat down” as living a gay lifestyle.

Nothing in that description would be grounds for such a penalty. There are heterosexual fem/metrosexual men and homosexual masculine and even butch men. Homosexuality is, obviously, not about effeminacy or masculinity; it’s about the desire for and capacity to engage in romantic relationships with someone who share your gender. Unless people are expressing that, in singles meetings, in couples ministries, etc., most of the gay men and lesbian women in churches are invisible . . . unintentionally. As long as churches remain full of closeted men and women—whether seeking “deliverance” or not—few churches will have to deal with the issue you pose. The question is, in most church settings, how would one openly declare that they’re gay and nonrepentantly so? Until that happens in large numbers, many churches will maintain their sacred version of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” assuming that they only have effeminate male parishioners, but no gay ones.

TAP: How do those churches, that condemn homosexuality, reconcile the principles of the Bible to formulate an antagonistic message about homosexuality?

RP: Easily. There are five or so places in the Bible that seem to address homosexuality directly and, in all five cases, it seems to condemn it. Certainly a more progressive theology might be able to explain away the harshness of those scriptures, but in the absence of an affirming case study of homosexuality in the Bible, the more conservative theology that reigns in any of the mainstream Black denominations can only find homoantagonism in the scriptures.

Yes, Jesus never spoke negatively against homosexuality, but he also never spoke positively of it as he did with heterosexual marriage in Matthew 19. That said, it isn’t lost on me that thousands of parishioners at Long’s church probably find gay men and women reprehensible (I Timothy 1) at the suggestion of a divorced and remarried “bishop” (I Timothy 3) in a church with numerous female leaders (I Timothy 2). There are literally thousands of prescriptions and proscriptions for ideal behavior listed in the Bible and many are ignored, qualified, and contextualized.

After all, the ten commandments say nothing about homosexual behavior, but uses four verses (more than 100 words) explaining the importance of Saturday as the day to have “church.” Our claims to religious fundamentalism are proven false by our behaviors all of the time. The fact is that the Black church has changed pretty dramatically in some areas that just 50 years ago were seen as “fundamental Christian truths.” The Long controversy may be igniting the conversation that will prompt change in this area as well. I doubt it, but it may.

So the bottom line is that people like Bishop Long can exist because the society in which they live is hostile toward the SGL community and the easiest way to curry favor (and tithes) is to stoke those bigoted feelings. Meanwhile, to the bigoted parishioners, sins are only sinful when they apply to someone else. So despite what the bible says, sucking down shrimp ISN'T a sin to those churchgoers who MUST go to Red Lobster every Sunday, but homosexuality IS because they're not homosexual.

Religious bigots are the worst kind not only for their blatant, unassailable hypocrisy, but also for the sanctimonious tone of their bullshit.

And for a more down home take on Bishop Eddie Long's "alleged" hypocrisy, check out Drama Dupree, Lonell Williams, Mashaun D. Simon, Cadillac Kimberly and Adrian Daniel discuss the matter in the video below:


The Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC) launched phase two of its "I Love My Boo" campaign earlier this month in order to "[increase] the visibility of black and Latino gay men. [The] campaign educates the community at-large, and promotes acceptance and understanding in a climate where gay men of color are seldom represented favorably in the media. The 'I Love My Boo' campaign speaks to, and celebrates, gay men of color by highlighting their strengths and resiliencies. Rather than only sexualizing gay relationships, with chiseled bodies and glossy imagery, the beauty of this campaign is that it features intimacy and focuses on what is possible for gay men of color as they express trust, respect and commitment for one another."

The ads for the campaign feature genuine SGL couples, not actors.

Dr. Marjorie Hill, the GMHC's chief executive officer, had this to say:

This campaign reinforces GMHC's ongoing commitment--since our earliest days--in addressing homophobia and reducing the spread of HIV among gay men. The campaign directly challenges homophobia, and acknowledges the value of love, sex, desire, and relationships in the lives of gay men, while encouraging dialogue.

You can follow the "I Love My Boo" campaign on Facebook.

Check out the campaign posters which appear in subway stations and on bus shelters all around New York City:

And here are the ads from its 2009 campaign: