Through the windows
of the set, I can see flocks of birds flying over the backdrop of Central Park,
and their freedom seems a tragic juxtaposition against yours. You suddenly seem
to me a man who’s trapped – caged in that metal-and-glass backed set
overlooking Columbus Circle, frantically running up into the audience for one
last question that was actually just a gift: a ragged-looking woman in gold
pleather gives you a rosary and a plastic vial of holy water – the significance
of which no one seems quite able, or willing, to grasp. I don’t know what you
made of the present – was it her effort to save you from a certain unnamed
lifestyle? A simple, genuine gift of faith? A public push to accept Jesus
Christ as your one and only savior? You received it graciously before literally
running off the set with a wave, on to save the world in more important arenas
perhaps.
When I return home
that night, I turn on your AC360 show on CNN, where you are more formal in
jacket and tie. You open by reporting on another suicide due to bullying – a
14-year-old child has killed himself after being bullied for his sexuality. It
is not the first time you have drawn worthy attention to the issue, even if
means being ridiculously perceived as pushing a “gay agenda” – and that’s
admirable of you – but it’s not enough.
You talk of the
loneliness and desperation and how heartbreaking it is. You showed the video
that the boy – Jamey Rodemeyer – made for the ‘It Gets Better’ project – and I
wait for some flicker of whether this is personal to you. There are some things
that only another gay person who has been through that fear can understand and
access. Is that you? Are you one of us?