To whom it may concern,
The dark side of thegaytekeeper has taken hostage. Do not try to find him. Do not alert the authorities. Until demands are met he will be held on the tropical island of New Providence (Nassau, Bahamas) where he'll be forced to sit on the beach and meditate.
If you hope to get the 'dark side' of thegaytekeeper back, the following is a list of our demand: All the inhumane that live like they're better than the humane MUST donate their soul to humanity. You have from now until the end of time to comply with our demand.
The 'light-side' of thegaytekeeper