Other people may
have their own agenda for our life; we can value their input but we don’t have
to take it to heart. As children, our parents had dreams for us. They wanted us
to do well in school, and to do whatever was necessary to reach our highest
potential. Later in life, friends may try to set us up with their idea of the
perfect partner or the perfect job. Spouses may have agendas for us, too.
People close to us may have ideas about how we should live our lives, ideas
that usually come from love and the desire for us to be happy. Other times,
they come from a place of need within them—whether it is the parent who wants
us to live out his or her dreams or the friend or spouse who wants us to play
an already-defined role. Whatever the case, we can appreciate and consider
those people’s input, but ultimately we must follow our own inner guidance.
There may come a
time when all the suggestions can become overbearing. We may feel that the
people we love don’t approve of our judgment, which can hurt our feelings. It
can interfere with the choices we make for our lives by making us doubt
ourselves, or filling a void with their wishes before we’ve had a chance to
decide what we want. It can affect us energetically as well. We may have to
deal with feelings of resistance or the need to shut ourselves off from them.
But we can take some time to rid ourselves of any unnecessary doubts and go
within to become clear on what we desire for ourselves.
We can tell our
loved ones how much we appreciate their thoughts and ideas, but that we need to
live our own lives and make our own decisions. We can explain that they need to
let us learn from our own experiences rather than rob us of wonderful life
lessons and the opportunity to fine-tune our own judgment. When they see that
we are happy with our lives and the path we are taking to reach our goals, they
can rest assured that all we need them to do is to share in our joy.