The Deal Breaker

I’m always talking about what turns me one and the quickest ways to get me out of my boxers and blah blah blah.

But I realized that I’ve never really talked about the things that turn me off…

Now, I have something I like to call The Deal-Breaker: When a potentially beneficial situation quickly goes sour because of some unexpected or inappropriate event. (pretty good, eh?) 

I have a list of Sexual Deal-Breakers. *sighs* you ready for this?

1.      1.  If you tell me some crazy ish like “oooh, suck on my Big Toe” No offense to my Foot-Fetish people, but that’s something I’ve never quite understood. Nigga, if you ask me to put any part of your foot in my mouth…  I would feel goofy as hell… And it’s such a huge market for um… “Foot-Porn” as I like to call it.

2.       2. If you’re down there and you’re giving me some Head, why do you feel like you gotta make direct eye contact with me? Like, you’re not even blinking! Damn, look at the wall or something! That’s kinda creepy. I hate it when they do that in Porn too… Don’t get me wrong, a little eye-contact is always good but, idk something about it just gets to me… (this doesn’t completely turn me off, but it is very annoying…)

3.       3. Uncut/Uncircumsized—I’m not really sure why this is such a big market as it is. People are really into Foreskin? You have to peel the dick back like a banana just to get to the head?

4.       4. Dirty Dicks/Ass—come on now, we’re all adults here. I expect you to wash yo azz thoroughly before we get down to business. In fact, if we just got in from the club or someplace where we’ve been sweating (or working up some Body Odor in general) then let’s hit the shower right quick before we cap the night off, you know? The last thing I need is to get ready to go straight Thanksgiving Turkey on some Ass and it isn’t fresh…. *sighs* I just had a flashback…

5.       5. Okay, no offense to my people into Water sports but um… IF YOU EVER WHIP OUT YOUR DICK AND PISS ON ME, WE ARE GOING TO FIGHT! Hell naw you ain’t finna piss on me! (excuse the Ebonics) and NO, I’m not gonna piss on you! EEEWWWW….

And the list gets updated all the time. I hope I don’t sound “high-maintenance” or anything like that but I certainly do have my limit on what I can and cannot take sexually.

What are some of your “Deal Breakers?” hit me up!


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For all those who know they're doing what they should in a relationship but it just isn't working, this is my gift to you: Raphael Saadiq "Good Man"