I have long believed that part of our problem with resolving
race issues in America is our inability to accurately name what we are. Aside
from the occasional Johnny and Edgar Winter, there are no white people. Any
child with a box of crayons can tell you that white people are, in fact, beige.
The sickly ones are gray. Following this crayon logic, one can easily see that
there are really no black people. They are brown. Or perhaps raw umber. Or
maybe burnt sienna. Frankly, every time I hear someone comment on America's first
black president, I can't help thinking, "No, he's not. He's more like
caramel." Which is why I think we should all get in the habit of calling
each other what we really are. How can you racially slur a man by calling him
"beigey" or "umber?" The answer is you can't. Because
that's exactly what he is. The melanin doesn't lie. Buy a box of Crayolas and
see for yourself. We are all members of the National Association for the
Advancement of Colored People. Can I hear a kumbaya?